somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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