And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize