my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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