Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize