i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
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You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm bleeding and have questions