im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body