would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say