What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"