Your face is a jimmy john
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
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I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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