So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
