If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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