just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
