It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
