I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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