i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize