We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
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When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny