You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.