I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
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You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples