Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?

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  (413): I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old? http://tfl.nu/y7lt
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (488)
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  (916): View more from California

  I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night

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  (916): I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night http://tfl.nu/fggv
  Replies (33) Good night (1358) Bad night (4940)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Even the bartender felt bad for me

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  (585): Even the bartender felt bad for me http://tfl.nu/mj4v
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (5029)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.

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  (330): Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like. http://tfl.nu/uplz
  Replies (5) Good night (3546) Bad night (949)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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  (360): Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day http://tfl.nu/ru8t
  Replies (30) Good night (1823) Bad night (4641)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.

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  (937): She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life. http://tfl.nu/md1r
  Replies (10) Good night (1633) Bad night (5212)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..

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  (228): He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room.. http://tfl.nu/jg6e
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (1691)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.

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  (816): We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly. http://tfl.nu/0x8b
  Replies (6) Good night (2011) Bad night (528)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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  (954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7
  Replies (7) Good night (1871) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass

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  (519): woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass http://tfl.nu/kbek
  Replies (9) Good night (1069) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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  (616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.

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  (903): I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/287m
  Replies (2) Good night (897) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!

  (1-416): View more from Toronto

  Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken

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  (416): Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?! (1-416): Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken http://tfl.nu/8jmi
  Replies (7) Good night (986) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams

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  (440): Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams http://tfl.nu/en8l
  Replies (1) Good night (226) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.

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  (785): What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective. http://tfl.nu/kk8s
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (178)

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