If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im holly from the hills drunk
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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