Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."

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  (402): I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while." http://tfl.nu/xrqm
  Replies (26) Good night (1081) Bad night (6022)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.

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  (816): I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life. http://tfl.nu/o7kz
  Replies (14) Good night (4770) Bad night (742)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can

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  (403): That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can http://tfl.nu/qmqm
  Replies (28) Good night (926) Bad night (4472)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.

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  (570): 11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college. http://tfl.nu/tbx5
  Replies (9) Good night (3243) Bad night (1148)
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  (951): View more from California

  I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal

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  (951): I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal http://tfl.nu/pmv6
  Replies (23) Good night (10532) Bad night (1224)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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  (352): She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject. http://tfl.nu/69m3
  Replies (9) Good night (1568) Bad night (2407)
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  (347): View more from New York

  They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me

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  (347): They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me http://tfl.nu/nbj5
  Replies (4) Good night (1425) Bad night (710)
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  (510): View more from California

  It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.

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  (510): It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him. http://tfl.nu/gszx
  Replies (4) Good night (3186) Bad night (817)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb

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  (403): I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb http://tfl.nu/fhfr
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (609)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.

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  (207): I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable. http://tfl.nu/3t8y
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (392)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?

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  (813): So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance? http://tfl.nu/tosl
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you

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  (902): I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished (1-902): I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you http://tfl.nu/66fn
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (387)
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  (044): View more from

  fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face

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  (044): fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face http://tfl.nu/nkp3
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed

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  (631): Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed http://tfl.nu/ruwh
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (286)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home

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  (513): and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home http://tfl.nu/u8sr
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (253)

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