I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
