Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i need an iv and a liver transplant
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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