there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
