Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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