I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
