I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
