I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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