Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize