Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
