I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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