everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
