If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
