got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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