Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
