Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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