Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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