the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So squirting runs in the family.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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