This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
