my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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