scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Shame is for Republicans.
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