I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize