That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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