I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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