he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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