Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
nutella sex= disaster
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
