well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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