How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
