ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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