i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
