dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
