She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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