I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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