R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
one two three fourrrrnication!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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