ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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