her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize