It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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