But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
