and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
