if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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