That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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