she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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