so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
